Maybe It’s Secretly Ironic?

You Don’t Need Math to Follow the Path…

Granted, Wikipedia is greatly improved since its early days.  Often it now cites its sources; often inaccurate information is removed almost as soon as a rogue editor adds it.

Still, for anyone who carelessly assumes that Wikipedia today is simply accurate and trustworthy, occasionally Wikipedia itself provides a cautionary reminder.  From the first paragraph, the very top, of the article on Jainism:

It prescribes ahimsa (non-violence) towards all living beings to the most possible extent. The five main principles of Jainism are ahimsa, anekantavada (non-absolutism), aparigraha (non-possessiveness) and guruajna (obeyance of the preachings of the preacher).

Further down in the article, it talks about the “extreme difficulty” of “attaining true faith”.  I don’t see what’s so difficult; all you have to do is embody five out of four principles!

Band Name

I think Sideways Headers would be a good name for a band.

NPR in One Sentence

“But sociology graduate student Nicole Bedera says she found that ad to be insufficiently feminist.”

That about sums it up…

In Death, Time Has No Meaning?

“Also this hour, fans of The Walking Dead have to wait another week.”

Life in a State of Nature Too Honest?

“It’s impolite to take you out of the running as a mate just for that—so I won’t—but if we were animals in the wild, I might.”

Conceptual Cooking

“Yogurt is just like really runny cheese.”

Capturing the Coveted Anti-reality Vote

NPR this week, trying to explain why Republicans beat Democrats so badly in Tuesday’s elections:

People who came out to register their distress with Obama or congressional Democrats — or with any aspect of current reality — were more likely to vote Republican for governor, as well.

Breath Taking

“There would never be a wild pug.”

All Your Ogg Are Belong to Us

Among the documents I’m reviewing for work: a four-page résumé boasting “Excellent communication & presentation skills” and “IT SKILLS –IT Software [redacted], MS OFFICE , EMAIL , INTERNET”, attached to an e-mail that says, “Pleased to forward my resume for marketing job in your ogganisation.”

(Maybe he was thinking of one of these…)

Quote

“I don’t know what that’s from but I don’t like quotes.”

NPR Freudian Slip?

Heard on the local NPR station this morning, the first day of their fund drive:

“. . . and your guilt—uh, your gift—will help cover the cost of that . . . .”

No kidding.

They also forgot to mention that we’re already paying a lot that they didn’t ask for politely (direct government spending + CPB = 16.0% of NPR’s funding).

Actual Quote

From one of the hundreds of e-mails I’m reviewing for work:

“Meanwhile, I think we are more familiar with Nitrogen Evaporator now;-)”

There must be a great story behind that, but the world may never know that story.

Band Name

I think Ephemeral Scepter would be a good name for a band.

Efficiency

“I think it’s registering discomfort in the efficiency part of my feelings.”

Sweeter than Wine

“If only all wine tasted like cream-filled donuts!”

SAT Analogy

“Red velvet is the Dr. Pepper of cake.”

Rats

“. . . but the rats have a sweet, attractive face.”

Band Names

Suggestions from work:

• Crush Behavior
• Placebo Interference
• Sonorous Respirations

See also other band names.

Yea and Nay’s Half-hearted Cousins?

“She can get the ‘yeah’ or ‘neah’ from Chuck and Tim.”