Trump in One Sentence

Often the “Happy Warrior” columns on the back page of National Review these days (when I can bring myself to try reading them at all) seem to be trying really hard to be funny, which is a poor substitute for actually being funny.  (I guess most writers are a poor substitute for Mark Steyn.  It’s an unfair position to put them in.)  But I thought Heather Wilhelm’s offering in the current issue had a pretty good line:

We have Mr. Trump, of course, a crafty, plotting sort who lurks and waits until the national conversation reaches a tipping point—just this close to veering into a substantive, crucial discussion—before he kicks in the door, bellows something mean about all of our mothers, shoots out the chandelier with a paintball gun, and sucks all the air out of the room.

Donald Trump as Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes

Mashable explains the concept of “Donald and Hobbes”, a Reddit page dedicated to contributors’ incisive and humorous Photoshops of Donald Trump as Calvin in Calvin & Hobbes.

Many of them are surprisingly apt (and many of the rest are still pretty funny).  There’s even one where he asks a Ouija board whether he’ll be president one day:

Imperial Candidate Donald Trump

“Trump: I will mandate death penalty for killing police officers”

Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump on Thursday vowed to issue an executive order to mandate the death penalty for anyone who kills a police officer.

I’m not even sure I disagree at all with the policy as policy, but…

Proposed future headlines:

“Trump: I will mandate judges make good decisions”
Trump vowed to make a “strong statement” with an executive order if elected.

Muslims Mock Daesh

Speaking of helping delegitimize the terrorists, did you know that our Muslim allies and non-allies alike, as well as Israelis, are making fun of Daesh (ISIS) through sketch comedy and songs?  Check out these, from Kurds on TV in Iraq, Palestinians, and Israelis (warning, some rude content):

‘Jihadist Flypaper’

Continuing the discussion of the weekend’s victory for free speech in Texas, Jim Geraghty gets in some good lines.

Is it just me, or have we just invented a form of Islamist/jihadist/ISIS flypaper?

They wore body armor. They carried assault rifles. And one had declared loyalty to ISIS.

Things You Hear on NPR: Unintentionally Humorous Coverage of Women in the Military

If NPR can’t make it sound good, no one can:

It’s a recent morning out in California’s Mojave Desert, and Marine Lance Cpls. Paula Pineda and Julia Carroll are struggling to pick up and maneuver Carl. He’s a 220-pound dummy, and a stand-in for a wounded Marine.

Carroll’s knees buckle for a moment, but as a dusty wind picks up, the two women pull Carl off their light armored vehicle. They carry him to safety, careful not to let his head drag on the rocky ground.

So that’s something!

Republican Candidate Doesn’t Hate Puppies

On the lighter side, The Week covers the Senate race in Arkansas.

Drama Queen

There once was a man named Obama
Who said, I’m post-partisan-drama,
But in middle school
It’s a general rule
Girls who say “I hate drama” bring drama.

New Obamacare Parody T-shirt: ‘Amazing’

In 2012, conservatives remarked that government is much worse at many things than the free market, and asked, Do you want your health care to be more like using Amazon.com, or more like the Bureau of Motor Vehicles?  Here’s conservative blogger Wintery Knight, July 5th, 2012:

I think this is important because conservatives are constantly being portrayed as “mean” in the media because we don’t embrace big government health care solutions. Everyone agrees on the problems, and everyone wants to help. The difference is that we conservatives think that health care is better when it is run profitably and is responsive to consumers and offers choice, low prices and high quality — like Amazon. . . .

A Conservative Antidote to Doonesbury

Via Liberty Island, Right-wing Riot has an interesting idea:  Take real Doonesbury strips (the comics written and drawn by liberal great Gary Trudeau for the last half century or so) and replace a fraction of the words with satirical conservative content.  (The replacements are clearly indicated in red text.)

Politically Correct Humor

Via Sense and Snarkability (“Jon Gabriel went to the Lefty gathering Netroots Nation, and discovered how humorless and boring the Left is”): Jon Gabriel has a great piece up at Ricochet.  He attended the liberal-blogger conference “Netroots” (sometimes known as “Nutroots”…) and reports on what they’re telling each other about humor and cultural engagement.

Remy Video: Outrage over Spying, ‘Isn’t It Ironic?’

Remy and Reason TV have a new video out about the NSA, parodying “Ironic”.  It’s pretty funny:

Merry Christmas!

Check out this, er, accomplished quartet!

Lyrics?

Funny Parody Song: Remy and Reason TV on Obamacare

Brilliant.  Do the “Healthcare Mash”:

Communist News Site Relays Onion Piece as Straight News

Via Facebook friends, National Review Online, and everyone else,

The People’s Daily Online, the mouthpiece of China’s Communist Party, has fallen for a satirical article in the Onion proclaiming North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un the “Sexiest Man Alive for 2012.” The report credulously quotes the Onion’s endorsement . . . .

The People’s Daily piece has since been taken down.  Oops!  How embarrassing.

Also covered by the Blaze.

‘FAQ on Christianity’

Frank Fleming at PJ Media offers a satirical FAQ about Christianity.  Sample:

How long have Christians been around?

While many people see Christians as a brand new and quite scary thing, records show Christians have been around since at least the 1950s, and maybe even much earlier.

. . .

So they’re like hipsters?

Yes, except everything they do is unironic.

Fleming reminds me a little bit of Dave Barry.

‘You Didn’t Build That’

As you’ve no doubt heard, President Obama said recently, “If you’ve got a business—you didn’t build that.  Somebody else made that happen.”  (Previously linked on this blog, John Kass and Mark Steyn comment.)

It’s turning into a whole big thing.  Via Disrupt the Narrative, I give you a site that was too funny not to pass on:  Didn’t build that .com.

Via that site, an opinion piece at Townhall.com has a good line:

Well, two can play at that game. If you’re one of the millions of Americans counted as part of the eight percent unemployed, you didn’t get there on your own. Somebody else made that happen. And he’s running for reelection.

National Offend a Feminist Week

I’m not sure whether it qualifies, but here’s my contribution to The Other McCain’s National Offend a Feminist Week:

Note that I would never have heard of Offend a Feminist Week (much less participated in it) if not for female blogger No One of Any Import, who explains,

Of All the Men I’ve Ever Known—He Was One of Them

First paragraph of a Romney fundraising letter I received recently:

I am running for President of the United States and because you are one of America’s most notable Republicans, I want to personally let you know why.

(I’m not.)

Fun with Feminism

Via Disrupt the Narrative, The Other McCain brings some levity to our sad situation:

If happiness is the problem, feminism is the solution.

Rush Limbaugh calls our attention to two oldies (this transcript from his show last week even includes the lyrics): “The Grooveyard of Forgotten Favorites, Pre-Feminism Edition”.  The first one is Dusty Springfield’s “Wishin’ and Hopin'”, 1963: