Imperial Candidate Donald Trump

December 11, 2015

“Trump: I will mandate death penalty for killing police officers”

Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump on Thursday vowed to issue an executive order to mandate the death penalty for anyone who kills a police officer.

I’m not even sure I disagree at all with the policy as policy, but…

Proposed future headlines:

“Trump: I will mandate judges make good decisions”
Trump vowed to make a “strong statement” with an executive order if elected.

“Trump: I will mandate Congress get its act together and pass the laws I want”

“Trump: I will mandate everyone can eat as much ice cream as you want and not gain weight”
Trump vowed to make a “strong statement” with an executive order if elected.

“Trump: I will mandate a minimum of 75 branches of government”
Trump vowed to get rid of “lame, weak” governments with “only three branches”, which he stated “are for losers”.

“Trump: I will mandate that any policy I like is henceforth constitutional”
Trump “not sure what the big deal is about this ‘Constitution’ I keep hearing about”, “not sure how that works”.

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3 Responses to “Imperial Candidate Donald Trump”

  1. madblog Says:

    Trump’s declarations on what he’d do if he were President are exactly like when they go to a kindergarten class and ask the kids what they’d do if they were President.

  2. Will S. Says:

    “I will mandate the trains run on time!” ;)


  3. Right! “I promise if I am elected everyone will get ice cream!”


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