Men Are from Mars, Liberals Are from Venus

April 28, 2015

Via The Volokh Conspiracy: Wonkblog breathlessly reports on “The disturbing differences in what men want in their wives and their daughters”:

When asked what qualities they want in in a wife, American heterosexual men said they value “attractive” and “sweet” women, a national survey recently found. Only 34 percent, however, said they wanted a romantic partner who is “independent.”

But the story changes when respondents considered the qualities they want to see in their daughters. Beauty and a pleasant disposition, for example, mattered much less than strength and intelligence:

Screenshot from the Shriver Report

Screenshot from the Shriver Report

The results, gleaned from a survey of 881 men across the country earlier this month, show “an eye-opening disparity between the qualities contemporary men feel are paramount in a wife and/or partner and what they value for their daughters when they grow up,” said The Shriver Report Snapshot: An Insight Into the 21st Century Man, which was published Friday.

News flash: Men want the woman they’ll be in a relationship with to be “attractive”.  A man doesn’t need to be attracted to his daughter, or his brother, or his mechanic.  That’s what would be “disturbing”.

(Volokh also makes excellent points.)

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9 Responses to “Men Are from Mars, Liberals Are from Venus”

  1. Foxfier Says:

    Characteristics change depending on situations, too– ‘s why you don’t want to confuse it with character.

    An unattached daughter should be independent; someone who’s found their other half should be dependable.

  2. Will S. Says:

    From Volokh:

    On the other hand, if someone asks you, “Please select which two or three qualities you most want in a daughter when she grows up,” and gives “independent” as an option, you might be thinking “financially independent from me, her father” — and you might well like that. Or you might think “financially independent, so she doesn’t feel pressured to be with a man, or stay with a man, because of his money”; that too is good.

    The problem with the latter is that it encourages young women towards feminist mindsets, even amongst traditionalists. To think, “I don’t need a man; I can take care of myself; a man would just be nice bonus at some point, so I can have children.” In other words, it discourages women from having a mind towards family formation as a fundamental goal; instead, all too often today, that takes a backseat to having a career, this financial independence that overprotective fathers wrongly encourage in their daughters, as if no young man out there could be trustworthy enough for them. Moreover, if the worst-case scenario came to pass, and a young woman found herself married to someone abusive (and somehow she missed the ‘tells’ of it during their courtship), rather than having her feel the need to be able to fend for herself, wouldn’t any loving parents be willing to let her move back in with them? Why is such ‘financial independence’, either from her parents or from a young man, so important, if they would be there for her if she has need of them, in a worst-case scenario?

    Fathers enable feminism by encouraging ‘independence’ in their daughters, rather than encouraging them to look towards becoming a wife and mother; encouraging them to waste their most fertile, best childbearing years focused on career aspirations instead.

    The old ways, where more women were homemakers, were superior to the mess we’re in now. And fathers of daughters who enabled the current status quo shoulder not an insignificant part of the blame, due to their attitudes.

    • Will S. Says:

      Also, ‘strength’ is a male characteristic; this means fathers are wanting their daughters to be more masculine, to be ‘independent’ – while wanting their wives to be more feminine. I find that disturbing for entirely opposite reasons to Wonkblog; while I certainly understand wanting an attractive, sweet, not bitchy wife (I’d want those traits in a wife, too), again, such fathers encouraging their daughters to display such traditionally masculine characteristics such as autonomy and strength means once again that they end up, however inadvertently, encouraging feminist mindsets.


    • “Moreover, if the worst-case scenario came to pass, and a young woman found herself married to someone abusive (and somehow she missed the ‘tells’ of it during their courtship), rather than having her feel the need to be able to fend for herself, wouldn’t any loving parents be willing to let her move back in with them?”

      Hey, yeah! Good point.

      • Snoodickle Says:

        Who is this guy, and why have you not banned him from your blog yet?

      • Will S. Says:

        Who the hell are you, and what business is it of yours who Chillingworth interacts with on his blog?

        Entitlement mentality prog. Typical.

      • Will S. Says:

        How typical a prog mentality, wanting to shut down a dissident voice rather than engage what is being sad.


  3. […] (P.S. “Who is this guy, and why have you not banned him from your blog yet?” […]


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