October 20, 2014

Overheard at work (quoting from memory):

Woman 1 (recalling when she found out she was pregnant):  I told her, I can’t marry this guy—there’s no way.  And she said, That’s OK.  I’m so glad she didn’t say, Then why were you having sex with him?

. . .

Woman 2:  You don’t have to have sex with someone just because you’re married to him.

Woman 1:  Really?

Woman 2:  Lots of married people don’t have sex.  If I were married, I would say, F[___] you, I already got the house, I got what I wanted!

(She’s joking, but also not joking…)

Got it.  According to the wisdom of this world, you have sex with people you’re not married to, not people you’re married to.

(And both women wonder why they haven’t found the right guy yet…)

Not unrelated, Heather Mac Donald has an interesting discussion at some length in the Weekly Standard (the previous issue’s cover story) about America’s changing sexual culture, particularly on college campuses, as the tension between conflicting interests plays out:

“Neo-Victorianism on Campus: Is this the end of the collegiate bacchanal?”

It is impossible to overstate the growing weirdness of the college sex scene. Campus feminists are reimporting selective portions of a traditional sexual code that they have long scorned, in the name of ending what they preposterously call an epidemic of campus rape. They are once again making males the guardians of female safety and are portraying females as fainting, helpless victims of the untrammeled male libido. They are demanding that college administrators write highly technical rules for sex and aggressively enforce them, 50 years after the proponents of sexual liberation insisted that college adults stop policing student sexual behavior. . . .

The ultimate result of the feminists’ crusade may be the same as if they were explicitly calling for a return to sexual modesty: a sharp decrease in casual, drunken sex. There is no downside to this development.

At one point, Mrs. Mac Donald characterizes the current lay of the land:

Four decades later, the liberationist regime is disintegrating before our eyes. The new order is a bizarre hybrid of liberationist and traditionalist values. . . .

One is reminded of Victor Davis Hanson at NRO, “Postmodern Prudes: In the age of relativism, popular morality hasn’t so much disappeared as become schizophrenic.”

More from Mrs. Mac Donald:

A recent case from Occidental College illustrates the reality behind so-called “campus rape.” Girls are drinking themselves blotto precisely in order to lower their inhibitions for casual sex, then regretting it afterwards.

She goes into detail on the illuminating facts of this case.

Jane’s reactions are understandable, if hardly grounds for expulsion. While there are thankfully few actual rape victims on college campuses, there are thousands of girls feeling taken advantage of by partners who walk away from casual sex with no apparent sense of thwarted attachment. . . . Though sexual liberation has stripped virginity and its loss of any formally recognized significance, the lived experience can be more momentous than girls are prepared for.

Read the whole thing.

Hat tip to Head Noises.

Update (October 21st, 2014):  A few days later, Woman 2 complains in the hypothetical about how onerous it would be if she somehow ended up having two children.

Woman 2:  Two kids?  That’s a lot of kids!  I have enough trouble just taking care of myself.  If there were two kids, I would definitely have to get my parents involved.  It wouldn’t end well.  I’m too cheap and I don’t like my parents that much.

(Also, edit: corrected quotation marks in V. D. Hanson paragraph.)

7 Responses to “Upside-down”

  1. Foxfier Says:

    The scary thing is that it makes for a whole lot of unhappy people– in this case, focusing on the women, but the guys who are being borish as well– who then can’t figure out why they’re unhappy and decide it’s because they didn’t go far enough.

  2. Will S. Says:

    Modern-day worldly women divide men into the kind they fornicate with, and the kind they marry:

    For instance:

    Modern-day worldly women are ugly on the inside; rotten to the core.

    • And I confess that I have sometimes gotten very angry at the men who are the other side of that coin. There seems to be a lot of short-sighted selfishness and trying to take advantage of or use each other on both sides.

      As you suggest, though, the culture these days sure turns some conventional wisdom on its head!

      (Making some assumptions here—I’m writing from a place where I can’t always click through links, including mine.)

  3. madblog Says:

    I suspect that what’s going on here is that we’ve devalued sex and desensitized ourselves to it so much, and that the result is that we have a lot of young people who have to slog through so many layers of (now self-conflicting) political/social correctness to arrive at the experience itself, that they give up before they reach the goal. The change agents have been working on sex for so long and made so many u-turns that young people are totally confused. It’s too much work, it’s not that great anyway when it doesn’t mean anything…end result: I think young people are bored with sex.

  4. madblog, I agree. Dating is all about sex now, and I’m very sad for young girls who have never BEEN on dates. All they know is sexting and hooking up. They never get phone calls. They settle to a heartbreaking degree, just to avoid being alone and feeling unwanted. I’m glad I was pursued with romance when I was younger, or I would never know it’s possible. Being single is better than than navigating all that right now. I find relief in focusing on myself, rather than pursuing a relationship these days.

Agree? Disagree? Thoughts?

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