‘It’s not bribing him with sex to get him to marry you (in fact, that’s what cohabitation attempts to do)’

June 16, 2012

I ran across this comment from Roxeanne de Luca, and thought it bore repeating:

Oh, heavens. Women wasting their waning child-bearing years on men who won’t commit to them is a rant in of itself. A society that does not condemn men who refuse to commit to women is another rant. A third rant is men who waste women’s time, so that the women they take to bed may never have the children they desperately want.

One of the many, many advantages of not having premarital sex is that it clarifies men’s thinking in a pretty neat way. . . . All the whiny male excuses for not committing vanish when he’s not getting the woman he wants in bed until he puts a ring on her finger. “I want to get married, and to her, but not yet,” is the offspring of premarital sex.

Unfortunately, many femisogynists misinterpret basic common sense. It’s not bribing him with sex to get him to marry you (in fact, that’s what cohabitation attempts to do), nor is it insecurity. It’s just an amazingly efficient way to weed out men who are never going to marry you anyway.

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3 Responses to “‘It’s not bribing him with sex to get him to marry you (in fact, that’s what cohabitation attempts to do)’”


  1. Thank you for the shout-out! :)


    • It’s important stuff to say; I’m glad someone’s saying it! I also thought your framing (title line above) dealt beautifully with an argument against virtue that otherwise intuitively carries some weight.

  2. Tevyeh Says:

    I’m not at all ashamed to admit that my commitment to abstain from premarital sex, adopted at age seventeen, made me view the institution of marriage in a much more positive light.


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