Prize Fight: Santorum vs. Gingrich?

January 3, 2012

Gingrich lands one on Santorum

Actual dream I had last night:  The country had somehow decided that, after narrowing the field down to two candidates, the final Republican nominee for president would be determined by a boxing match between them.

It came down to (don’t ask me to explain it; it was a dream!) Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich.  Although the latter was conspicuously older and fatter, he landed some solid blows (in the third round).  He punched hard.

The first two rounds were over almost before they began, when Santorum left the ring under his own power—not out of fear, but because he was bouncing around a little bit as he and Gingrich descended the stairs into the elongated ring from their opposite ends, and Santorum sort of overshot the ropes.

In the third round, he left the ring out of fear.

I remember thinking, as I was watching the bout, that it was much shorter than a debate.  That was it: three rounds, and Gingrich was the nominee!

After that, there was going to be another match between their vice-presidential picks—Dick Cheney and either Lech Walesa or Vaclav Havel, I’m not sure which—but no one was going to be forced to run with the other guy’s running mate; the outcome of this match would be strictly advisory.  I woke up before it came on TV, while replays of the first fight were still playing.

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12 Responses to “Prize Fight: Santorum vs. Gingrich?”

  1. Snoodickle Says:

    That’s an interesting dream, but the thought of Gingrich as a prize boxer is a far cry from the sobbing weakling he portrays himself as in real life.

  2. Snoodickle Says:

    Based on the results of the Iowa caucuses, it appears as if the prize fight will be between Santorum and Romney. Guess it’s time for you to reassert your support of your original sweetheart Rick!


  3. Actually, from what I’m hearing now, Gingrich will punch hard after all, but it will be in the service of Santorum, rather than against him.

    • Snoodickle Says:

      Unless he’s willing to drop out of the race, it seems like he’s doing Santorum a disservice by splitting up valuable anti-Romney dollars and votes. The end result; 2012 will pit our nation’s first black president versus its potentially first Mormon one, which is a sign that our nation is maturing and becoming more diverse. If the trend holds, it’s only a matter of time before this nation evolves to the point where we are willing to elect a gay president. It will come sooner than we expect, I imagine.

  4. swissecon Says:

    Weird dream with an even more weird ending :)


  5. After watching the debate tonight, this is pretty hilarious! I loved the way Newt shut down Romney, citing that he recognized his “technique,” previously employed against Huckabee and McCain. Santorum is so calm and rational, but doesn’t seem to exude enough firepower. And watching Paul over on the right fighting so hard to get in the discussion was great entertainment indeed!


  6. Maybe so, Chillingworth. ;)


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